For a long time I included it among other "four letter words" I had trouble integrating including safety, love and acceptance.
I tried getting those things from other people because I wasn't willing to give them to myself. (Willing is the operative word here.)
I've seen many mental health professionals over the years, and the best ones were invested in building my self-confidence. A handful told me I already had everything I needed within me to heal.
It's the secret few professionals tell you (maybe because they don't know it yet themselves).
We end up depressed and hopeless because we disconnect from our power and the truth of who we really are.
As a result, we end up feeling lost, alone, and dead inside. We stop trusting ourselves.
I watched both of my sisters detach from themselves and the world around them. The downward spiral was unnerving, and I felt helpless in my efforts to offer strength and hope.
It took losing them BOTH to wake me out of my own complacency.
I had to finally accept my past, become aware of how it shaped my life, and choose how I wanted to live going forward.
I could've easily followed in their footsteps.
As the youngest I'd always looked up to my sisters, and losing them almost broke me.
It was easy for me to slip into the helplessness of depression, because I already knew it so intimately.
But I made a choice to love myself more. A choice to stay and create a brand new life.
I know now I can trust my inner guidance, because It has never lied.
I only fought it because I'd learned to listen to the outside voices rather than the quiet one within. Once I realized the truth of this power, I never looked back.
Slow down, get quiet, and listen to your inner voice.
It is life.
It is love.
It is wisdom.
It is waiting.
R Jade McAuliffe-
Mother, blogger, coach and poet; believer in things unseen.
"Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o'er wrought heart and bids it break."